Things I Had to Unlearn About Clutter

Inside: Read about 5 things I had to unlearn about clutter and my things, and the mindset changes needed to clear the clutter.

Woman holding her head as she empties her cluttered purse.

I have been helping my parents declutter their home, which they have lived in for almost 30 years, as they prepare to downsize. To say they have a lot of stuff is an understatement.

My parents live over two hours away, so being able to help them on a regular basis is a challenge. While it has been a lot of work, I have been happy I have been able to help them declutter.

As we have been cleaning out their house, it has brought a lot of thoughts to my head about clutter. I have been thinking about the things I have had to “unlearn” about clutter.

By unlearn, I mean things that I was taught (both intentionally and unintentionally) about my things. I love my parents and I had a great childhood, but I have changed my values and beliefs about my things and clutter over the years. I think about clutter completely differently than how I was raised.

What I have Unlearned About Clutter

I now believe in simplifying. So I am going to share 5 things I was taught as a child that I have unlearned about Clutter, along with the mindset change I have had. Unlearning these messages has helped me simplify my home and get rid of clutter.

1) If something is a good deal, buy it!

I remember trips to Target with my mom always included shopping the end clearance racks to see what we would find. We often found things to buy, but they weren’t things we needed or would have bought if they weren’t on clearance with those bright red stickers.

While cleaning my parents’ home we found 100’s of items that were brand new with clearance stickers on them (Mostly Target clearance stickers 😬). Some of them were decades old and never used.

Their office alone probably had 30+ brand-new picture frames with clearance stickers on them. My parents could have saved thousands of dollars and lots of space in their home if they hadn’t bought these items.

Mindset Change About Good Deals

I now know that I don’t have to buy something just because it is a great deal or on clearance. This includes stocking up on grocery sales. I don’t buy more than fits in my cabinets. I am more mindful about what I buy, and make sure it is something I really need or would use. (And I try to avoid the Clearance endcaps at Target!)

2) Hold onto things in case you need them someday

I was always a packrat, and I’m sure it came from the message that I received regularly, “you might need that someday.”

Even as I was helping my parents clean, I heard this several times come out of their mouths. Or if they knew they wouldn’t need it anymore, they asked if I wanted to take it because I might need it someday.

Now, there might genuinely be things you could possibly use someday that you should hold on to. This is especially true if it is an item that is hard or expensive to replace. But most items that cause issues with clutter are the small items that would be easy to replace in the unlikely event it might be needed in the future.

Mindset Change About Just In Case Items

Learning how to take a realistic look at what I have and what I will actually use has helped me tremendously in getting rid of clutter and preventing it from building up again.

Woman holding her head and looking at her cluttered closet with a distressed look on her face.

3) Hold onto things that might be worth something someday

Ohhhh….this one is tough. It’s hard to honestly know what will be worth something in the future, but for most things, you won’t get what you want for them.

My parents have a lot of collections, from baseball cards to Longaberger baskets. They also have a lot of antiques from relatives. Some things do have a little value, but most of what my parents have kept is not worth as much as they were hoping for. Now they are left with a basement full of things they need to get rid of quickly, and it’s not worth their time or effort to sell them.

They are working with a consignor who is picking a few things he thinks he can get buyers for, but most items are just being donated. It’s fine that they are donating these things, but they have had a jam-packed basement for decades, storing these things because they “might be worth something someday.”

Mindset Change About Collectibles

I have learned I don’t want to hold onto things just because I might make some money from them someday. If I keep something it is because I love it, need it, or use it. I’m not willing to sacrifice my space for things I don’t really care about.

4) Buy Organization Products to Contain the Clutter

One thing I noticed while cleaning out my parent’s home was how many organizational products they had. Some were used (but not really effectively) and some were brand new in boxes. They had really good intentions of getting organized, but they made the common mistake that you can’t organize clutter.

As a child, I also loved shopping for organization products. I had big dreams of having a super organized bedroom, but I never achieved it. I also missed the memo that I needed to get rid of some things before I could get organized.

Mindset Change About Getting Organized

I think this started to click for me when I watched the early 2000’s TLC show, “Clean Sweep,” where they emptied an entire room and went through the decluttering process before putting things back. I realized they had to get rid of stuff to have their “dream room”. I really wanted to have my own clean sweep!

To get organized, you have to have space. And if you don’t get rid of the clutter, it makes it really hard to maintain any organization system.

Now, anytime I want to start an organization project, I make sure to declutter before I start organizing.

5) Keep Every Sentimental Thing That Has a Memory

I’m going to start out by saying that life has a lot of precious memories, and you don’t have to get rid of the really sentimental things you love, especially if you have the space to keep them. With that said, our memories are within us, not in our things.

I grew up a pack rat who wanted to save everything that held memories because my parents also wanted to save everything that had a memory. This includes clothes, toys, books, old movie tickets, school papers, old greeting cards, and every craft I ever made…you get the idea.

Many of these items were still in my parent’s basement until a few weeks ago. Tucked away, hidden, where no one could actually see the item that was saved as a “memory.”

Mindset Change About Sentimental Items

This has taken a lot of practice, but I began thinking really hard about special items and if I want to keep them. I also don’t want to just store things away, never to be seen again.

If something is special and I want to remember it but don’t necessarily want to keep it, I take a photo. For example, I made sure to take pictures of my kids in my favorite baby outfits, and that freed me to gift the clothes to someone else.

I do have a storage tub of old photo albums and memorabilia from high school and college. It doesn’t take a lot of space and I know exactly where it is if I ever want to look at it. I also have a bin for each of my kids to keep their memories that matter most to them. We go through the same process with the kids. If they have a toy that has special memories but doesn’t make sense to keep, we take a picture of them with it.

If I have other sentimental items that I want to keep, I try to find a way to display them in my home. I don’t want it to sit in a box in my basement to be discovered decades from now. Some examples are framing our wedding invitation in a shadow box or creating a pillow out of a favorite t-shirt.

Sentimental items are the hardest things to declutter. I recommend working on other types of clutter, first, so you work your “decluttering muscle” before you move onto the sentimental items. Don’t let the sentimental items hang you up and keep you from decluttering the other items in your home.

Changing Your Mindset About Clutter

I’ll be the first to admit that changing your mindset when it comes to clutter is HARD, but it can be done. So if you have been taught these same beliefs or similar, there is hope!

Being aware of what you have been taught about clutter and your things, is a great first step to changing how you handle clutter.

Do you relate to any of these messages? Is there something different about clutter you were taught that you need to change your mindset about?

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Keep The Memories, Lose The Stuff

This post was inspired by helping my parents declutter their home as they prepare to downsize. I found the book, “Keep the Memories, Lose The Stuff” by Matt Paxton extremely helpful as we prepared for this process. I highly recommend this book to anyone that is downsizing or helping loved ones downsize.

Things I Had to Unlearn About Clutter